JAMIE GREENE

Beware your inner Saboteur: he’s that little bugger who will pull your own rug out, just as you take your final step of the victory lap.

It doesn’t make sense, right? The stunning Super Model who has the world in the palm of her hand while she destroys herself with bulimia and a string of abusive boyfriends. The entrepreneur who throws away millions in a reckless wager in Vegas.
How about the recovering alcoholic with 20 years sobriety under his belt who relapses at his 20 year high school reunion?

Leave your thoughts and questions below. I'd be happy to answer them.

If you were ever to find yourself at the cliff's edge on a foggy day, so thick you could barely see your hand in front of your face, and you realized that your next step would plunge you on to the rocks below - and in the next instant the fog cleared... wouldn't you instantly know what action to take?

Maybe you've become confused or disenchanted bythe empty promises of spiritual pathways, eager to change your life circumstance, plagued by fear and regret of missed opportunities or at a crossroads in your life and unsure which fork to take.

As your personal coach, I am available to do one-on-one private sessions and serve as your personal guide to help you make courageous decisions and changes in your life.

When the fog clears, we see vistas and landscapes that purge any fear, doubt, confusion or hesitation

If you feel the fog closing in around you and you're ready to move away from the cliff's edge, I honor you for your bravery to open your heart and mind to the landscape about to...

I recently had an illuminating session with a couple who have strongly opposing views of the world. Or so it seemed...

The question of the meaning of life comes up at least 3 times a day in my coaching work with clients these days. Maybe it's the current spate of natural disasters and global tragedies and seeming randomness and injustice of it all, but the question keeps coming - Why?

Far be it for me to be the authority on such matters, but I do believe that part of my role as coach and voice of reason is to help others make sense of the world around them. To that end, the matter of life's purpose must be readily accessible to all of us, rather than remain a perpetually ambiguous existential dilemma.

One Good Reason
We all need a good reason to leap out of bed in the morning...
A reason to smile,
Someone to serve,
A cause to fight for,
An object for our affection,
A task to strive for,
A purpose to fulfill,
A gift to bring to the world.

So, what is the source of meaning and how does God...

Were you one of those kids who had to ask to be excused at the dinner table? I bet you're still looking for permission to be happy, make more money, please your boss and speak your truth. Do yourself a favor... excuse yourself!

It's tough living in our heads. Self-validation feels so corny and unsatisfying compared to full fledged approval from our friends, family and cohorts. I see so many people seeking approval from those they barely respect or admire and I wonder what on earth motivates them?

If you don't care for the poor soul you are seeking attention from then at least allow them the right to scowl at you, dislike your fashion sense, hairstyle, recent blog post or updates on Facebook. What's the worst that could happen? They think you have lousy taste? They wouldn't choose that halter top from BCBG, let alone put it together with the skirt from DKNY?

We seem to have an acceptable double standard when it comes to taste and style. We reserve the right to reject advances from...

Beware your inner Saboteur: he's that little bugger who will pull your own rug out, just as you take your final step of the victory lap.

It doesn't make sense, right? The stunning Super Model who has the world in the palm of her hand while she destroys herself with bulimia and a string of abusive boyfriends. The entrepreneur who throws away millions in a reckless wager in Vegas.

How about the recovering alcoholic with 20 years sobriety under his belt who relapses at his 20 year high school reunion?

They all have one thing in common... sabotage!

The origin of the word comes from 'sabot', a 17th Century french shoe worn by peasants who would throw them into the gears of machines to willfully destroy them. Sounds like a Provincial version of throwing the toys out of the pram!

Of course, we've become more discreet in our destruction these days: Failed diets, blowing the retirement money, playing hooky, flirting with the waitress in front of the wife or rejecting the only partner who...

Wishing your good mood would last forever is a bit like keeping your favorite haircut at the 'ideal length' without it ever growing out!

You see our moods are designed to change constantly, just as hunger is sure to return following the most satisfying meal. It's just a matter of time, and the challenge is how you handle it.

Why are we subject to such fluidity of emotions?

It's not important. Don't worry about it! You see, you can't stop your thoughts, can you? Well, guess where your moods originate… unconscious thinking!

I know, it's a cheeky paradox, but it's the truth. Your moods, feelings and emotions all stem from thoughts flying through your head at any given moment; some you are aware of and most you are not. Just as a seed must always precede the fruit, there is a crucial step in-between. Let's call it the 'trunk.'

If the seed represents our thoughts, the trunk represents our moods or emotions and the fruit is the manifestation of our actions, then it's clear that...

Knock, knock… who's there?

Ever get that feeling that nobody's home?
A room filled with neighbors, but you're all alone.
The couch is a sleeper, yet you're wide awake,
The crust has been crumbled with nothing to bake.
The fridge door is open, the freezer ajar,
Your hunger for comfort so near, yet so far.
The browser is searching and spinning its globe,
So you patiently wait with such promise and hope.
When you land on the home page you're having a hunch,
That the lights are still on but they're all out to lunch.
You search for the words to get over the hump,
Thesaurus and Oxford… totally stumped.
If there's nowhere to turn, a blank mirror ahead,
Do you blame and cajole or own it instead?
The reflection revealed may taunt and provoke,
Can it possibly be that I am the bloke
Who left on the lights and the doors all ajar?
What are you saying...
Elusive, moi?

Elusive, Moi? by Jamie Greene is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United...

There's no such thing as fear of success... it's the fear of failing once you succeed!

Fear sucks. It literally sucks all our ambition, confidence and trust into a black hole we come to know as our self-esteem.

I was once grocery shopping, pleasantly minding my own business when all of a sudden, I noticed an acquaintance standing at the end of the aisle, pondering spaghetti sauces. How intrusive... this is my supermarket! All at once, I found myself darting down the adjacent aisle, hoping not to have been discovered, just to preserve a few more moments of domestic anonymity.

And all the while, an inner bully taunted me with shudders of rejection and intimate panic at the very notion that I might be 'outed' in an unscripted vulnerable moment of a real life encounter!

As a clinician I was never clear what self-esteem really meant so I looked it up in my Pocket Oxford and it became clear all at once; derived from the Latin verb, aestimare, it means to estimate or compare. Who knew?

Of...

Personal development is like being under construction; make sure to warn your friends and loved ones that debris will be falling!

I remember seeing those apartment buildings in the San Fernando Valley surrounded by wire fences following the aftermath of the 1994 Northridge earthquake, thinking it was such a powerful metaphor for the process we tend to undergo in therapy and coaching.

The shaken tenants had to endure the discomfort and inconvenience of being relocated during retrofitting and reconstruction, in much the same way as we go through the difficulty of being inspected by our coaches, shrinks and sponsors, on admitting our need for help.

Get Ready For Rubble...

Just as the plaster and ornate facades are stripped off the cracked walls and ceilings revealing the brick and dry wall posts beneath, so goes the way of our ego, grandiosity and character flaws into the dumpster!

As many of you know, it’s not pretty...There’s rubble, dirt and muddy puddles everywhere we...