Take It In: Or, How to be Vulnerable!

One of the patterns I recognize a lot in the people that I work with and with people who are drawn to self-development and working on themselves and really improving their lives and coaching and mentoring and therapy, there is a very common, almost measurable quality which is they are all incredibly generous, caring, thoughtful, sincere, aware, people who are compassionate, want to help others, want to do good, purpose driven. Yet the commonality seems to be that they have difficulty in receiving all of that for themselves, being able to really take it in.

So what I want to talk today about is what it means to really take it in.

I was giving an analogy to one of my clients yesterday about how to think of this.

In many ways, it's about intimacy. Taking something in is about being seen, it's about – there is almost a barrier of shame that comes up in being seen and yet, that's really what we want.

We just don't trust that we are going to be embraced and accepted once we are seen. So the analogy is this; you know when FedEx or UPS come to deliver a package, especially one that requires a signature, you have to sign for it before you can receive it.

You actually have to be directly involved in the process, you have to co-create it.

A lot of people like to leave notes on the door which is a little bit less intimate, less likely that you're going to get the package when you want it because then they are going to come back later on. So the key here is getting in the game, really being involved and being able to personally be part of the process and receiving, it's about opening up and trusting and allowing.

We have some pretty sophisticated defense mechanisms where we deflect and we come up with all sorts of reasons why we don't have time for ourselves and martyr ourselves and none of that really is walking the walk. So just something to think about, if you are one of those people, if you're listening to this audio blog, there is a good chance that you are. You might be one of those thoughtful, caring, considerate people that really cares for others and will do anything for your friends and people you care about. But you may not quite invest in the same way for yourself, it's almost like there is a gap between the amount of care that you know people have for you and the relationship with yourself where you really can feel that for yourself.